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Posted: January 11, 2008
(Nanowerk News) The New Straits Times in Malaysia carries a funny editorial that makes for a perfect Slow News Friday article. Nanotechnology is now being used for facial and hair care. But Shannon Teoh will have none of it. Because, he rails, beauty is being sacrificed for health in the process:
IT seems that nobody cares about beauty anymore. Itís all about healthy this or healthy that.
Whitening products, ravishing mascara are all passe. Now, itís organic aloe vera body lotions or vitamin C-enriched age defence facial cleansers.
Surely as a caring and forward-thinking society, we must nip this in the bud or face a bleak future.
Imagine the year 2020, and an adolescent sneaks online to browse through some porn. Instead of over-implanted busty, dyed blondes with pouty, collagen-filled lips plastered onto makeup as thick as their silicone bags, heíll find a picture of a very healthy-looking person eating a stick of celery.
Friends, we cannot allow this to happen. People will start staying young forever and then where would that leave future generations? Iíll tell you where. Forever in the shadows of their hale and hearty elders.
Which is why we must fight back now. I heard that Panasonic had just launched a technological breakthrough called Nanocare which aims, as their Asia Pacific director, Satoshi Okumura says, to rid people of superficial ideas of hair removal, makeup and hairstyles to natural and healthy hair, and clean and spotless skin.
With the introduction of the diabolical Nanocare Hair Dryer, a weapon coded EH2271, Panasonic will continue this trend towards healthy scalps and smooth hair cuticles. This is achieved by breaking down water into a nano-sized moisture ion, which is a 1,000 times smaller than a normal one.
Actress Yukie Nakama holds a new "Nano care" hair dryer by National (Image: National)
These ions will then infiltrate and bury themselves deep within your strands of hair causing such dire effects as a 20 per cent increase in hair strength and reversing damage caused by such beauty treatments as hair colouring and perming.
Not only that, Panasonic is also wiping out sebum on your scalp! The nano ions will reduce sebum by 75 per cent, and increase moisture by 15 per cent, making it detestably clean.
It is also acidic, acidic, I tell you! With a pH of 5.5, it will protect against heavy brushing which removes protein from your hair.
As if this insanity has not gone far enough, Panasonic has also come up with the Nanocare Facial Ionic Steamer for healthy skin on your face. Again, nano ions ó the very mention of them makes my blood boil ó will penetrate deep under your skin, corrupting with deep and long-lasting moisturisation, keeping your skin soft and radiant.
The heat from the steamer will also encourage the production of nasty natural collagen, which will fight the effects of aging, keeping skin elastic.
I call out to all right-thinking people of the world to stop this threat to our future generations. We fight against global warming, we fight against imbalances in the ecology, we fight against wastage of resources, all in the name of our childrenís future.
Yet we allow this travesty to keep the current generation as youthful and healthy for as long as possible, severely damaging the potential of the future human race. Resist, even though the hair dryer costs only RM399 and the steamer RM599 and are available at all authorised dealers nationwide.